Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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