so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
