I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
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