so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
