Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
