Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
