btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Randomize
