so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
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