She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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