I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
