I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
