I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
