well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
