Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize