You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
