I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
