Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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