I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
