she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
