Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
