There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Randomize
