I love black thongs
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
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