i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
