You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
