it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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