he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize