she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
