Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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