I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
