Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
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