I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
