you guys were way drunker than both of me
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize