Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
