Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
