Ambien. No doubt about it.
I wish i was in the wii world.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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