Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
