did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
