I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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