I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize