Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
