trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
porn star boner night. come get it.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize