i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
