Pregnant stripper...not hot.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Randomize