I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Randomize
