she takes plan B like it's going out of style
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
