I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize