My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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