one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
