But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
