My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
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