Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
