Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
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