My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Randomize
