im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
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