Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
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