my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
