I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
