brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
