I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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