Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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