the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
