Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
