is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
