Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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