What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Randomize