listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize