he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
