She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize