If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
