Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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