I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize