you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I still have a little drunk in my system
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
