is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Randomize