There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
