I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
You can't motorboat a personality
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
