I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
